Sanjana was patting her Rana's head.He is still sleeping holding her.
"I'm habitual of him cheating on me.It has become part of my life with which I have compromised.I was , am and will always be so stupid to fall in love with him....This is the same man who used to clean my stained clothes and he is the same man who does all those things even now he still cleans my stained clothes many a times he still takes care of me he still massages my feet my abdomen when I am in pain...but he is the same man who beats me black and blue even on my periods if I commit a mistake he is the same man who for the slightest of my mistakes won't even hesitate to kick me like a football...his previous habits haven't changed but the things have added on...how do I tell you....
how how how !!! I will sound stupid to others but he is the only person who loves me without any filter....it's not that I am any poor thing I am any weak woman, no it's not like that...I have chosen to be with him....sometimes I want to run away from him because of his actions but if I think now I have nowhere to go except him...if this would have happened with any other woman I would be lecturing them to stand against the abuse they are facing but when I face the same I literally don't stand against it.People think I am stupid but I am not we both can't live without each other...He has been a person who has been there for me always....even when my parents left me....I swear I die every second when he tells me the heinous deeds my dad did....it is said offsprings pay the price of the deeds parents did.I think I am facing it.I still deny those things my dad did in front of him but reality has dawned upon me I have realised my dad did wrong...I am facing my dad's karma....I run away from my husband but if he goes away from me I run behind him to keep him close to me...I have done my share of mistakes.One can call me a mad woman but I know only I can handle him and only he can handle me I am bizzare without him...I am not living the dream life I imagined but I am spending my life with him....only that matters....others will find me weird and victimise me but I am not a victim.... I actually was never the victim I was a part of all of this...I was not pushed into this but I was born into this...I know what liberty and freedom is...but what is liberty for a person?to choose to live the life the way they want,to go where one wants,to do what one wants...then how am I wrong when I have chosen him despite everything knowing that if I choose him I will face all this...I have understood my life is not going to be bed of roses but I am happy in these challenges now if I leave him and go I won't be able to survive without him...his presence in my life is really the most important thing of my life...and when I talk about Freedom I was given the freedom to choose to divorce him and leave him but I was the first one who was completely against it...I don't want to leave him...I don't know why but I can't...if he leaves me my life will be a void...100%of my life is about him now...I am happy being with him I feel I am the luckiest when he is around me...and I feel I am the worst person when I hurt him in anyway or I do something stupid...I shout at him when I have to...I can still slap him straight on his face and he won't get angry...I am not justifying abuse but I think it's better if one broadens their spectrum of seeing freedom...if you see through my lens...I have the freedom to choose to give away my freedom to my husband...I chose this .I don't like putting my brain to use I just like to follow him which I do.I won't say I am happiest in my life but I will say I am not disappointed with my life...I didn't expect anything else when I chose him...it's just that sometimes I get frustrated by everything which is normal for a person so I want to stay away from him for few days but I don't want to leave him...I love him? Yes...Will I ever leave him?...No..no matter what!!!I will be with him till death do us apart....I share my feelings with Sana and maa(Mriganka) because they can understand me....maa always advises us to go away but it's easier said than done...she lived away from papa for 21years but when papa called her once she came running to him.... similar is my position it's easier to say to leave marriage but it's not so easy and for me it's an impossible thing I try to run away from him for some days but I will never leave him for forever....the problem is my man does not let's me go away from his cage even for a second.
The first time he cheated I was heartbroken I really felt worthless..."
Flashback -
Ranvijay has nationals football match.The team is practicing day and night to win.
Sanjana's POV-
We had no conversation because he is so busy these days with his work and practice.
His match is on this Sunday.It is scheduled in Guwahati.
I was scrolling through my phone when I saw the date.Its Abhijit's birthday tomorrow should I wish him or not.I thought I won't but the next moment I felt he has been my best friend for so many years how can't I wish him on his birthday.
.
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Despite the struggle, I wished him on his birthday and my DM flooded with his messages.He wanted me to visit him on his birthday.My phone started ringing why is this boy calling me.I didn't pick up his call so he called me again and again.Atlast I picked up the call I was going to shout at him but I heard him sobbing.
"What happened Abhi?Hey why are you crying?"
He was struggling to speak but he said
"Sanju yarr you are my only best friend and you are also not talking to me.If you have any problem with me ease tell me I will resolve all the issues."
My heart clenched hearing him cry.
So I affirmed him that I will have dinner with him.In Delhi,he came to my house we talked a little bit I was with my parents or my care taker most of the time in his presence.He was behaving well but he could sense that I have distanced myself from him.Rana isn't coming back to hostel today,he will be coming tomorrow noon.He has gone out for practice.
.
.
.
I went out with Abhijit taking permission from my parents which was easy to get as it was Abhijit and it was his birthday so my parents has 0 problem.
I went out with Abhijit.We chatted and laughed at so many things.On the way,I felt that some cars are stalking us but then my thoughts interrupted when we reached the restaurant.We had our dinner, strangely I felt that the people sitting in and around us are the people I know or I have seen somewhere.Abhijit asked me to come with him to a party at his guest house and I politely denied but he has been insisting me from that time only.
We had our dinner and he excused to go to washroom.
It's been fifteen minutes but he hasn't returned.
I finally received his call.
"Hello Abhi...where are you?"
"Sanju I had to leave due to an emergency...you please go back on your own.A black Mercedes car is waiting for you outside"he said in a hurry...he was taking heavy breaths...before I could ask anything he cut the call.
What the hell was that?And why should I go back in any random car.I am never joining him again...stupid bastard...should I call Rana?...no no it's better if I don't call him...he will get super angry...I will go by metro it's a safe option I thought but its going to be 11 now I won't get metro also....
Not having any other option I sat in the car and left from there.My heart was beating really fast so I called Gunjan and kept talking to her on call.
While I was talking to Gunjan I received his call but I did not pick up I thought I will say my mother called me.I saw that the same cars have been following me again.
I safely reached the hostel and went to my girl's hostel then went to Rana's room by hidden passage I usually use to go to his room.He wasn't in the room I took a breath of relief and called him and he picked up the call.
"Hello Rana...had your dinner?"
"Hmm"
"What hmm are you angry I didn't pick up your call?My mom called me so I was talking to her"
"So you were talking to your mother?"
"Yes"
"Did you eat your dinner?"
"Yes"
"What did you eat?"
"I..I...I ate uhh Rajma chawal"
"You forgot what you ate in dinner?What a sharp memory "
"Hehe Rana you know I forget things so easily"
I said faking a laugh but I was nervous.I felt I will get caught I thought to build courage and tell him but I dismissed the thought as I know he will be angry and he has his match after three days I don't want to start a fight with him and fights on call always turn out to be big I will tell him but when he comes back at that time...I know he will be angry but I will convince him.
"What were you doing without me?"
"Uhh nothing I was just sitting all day in the room"
"You could have gone out today"
"Naah naah it wasn't needed....how is your practice going on?"
There was no answer from the other side of the call when I checked I saw the call has ended.I thought it is due to network issues or may be by mistake but when I called again he had rejected my calls.I thought he is somewhere busy so I messaged him he was online but my message was unread I called him through textapp but still no response.I messaged him and called him through funstagram but my boyfriend ignored my calls and then he blocked me from his IDs.
I was shocked what happened to him.I thought I will talk to him next day.
.
.
.
It was the day of his match.I tried to contact him but he has not talked to me since last two days.I wanted to go and watch his match but it was in Guwahati so I couldn't go.I was eagerly waiting for his return.In evening,Gunjan told me they have come back and will be partying in school's hall because they won I was so happy for him.He had put all his efforts for this.Football is his passion he loves it.I thought I will surprise him by making cake so I went to a bakery that's in our school campus and asked them for the help for which they agreed after a lot of persuasion.I baked a kiwi cake for him as he is super diet conscious.I also used melted jaggery instead of sugar so that he finds it all healthy.It took a lot of efforts for me to make it as firstly I was baking a cake,secondly kiwi as the main ingredient became a bigger task and thirdly it should be super healthy.It took me five hours to make it from 4p.m. to 9p.m. I was engrossed in the task.I went to room thinking that he must have come to the room but I found that he hasn't come back.The room was as it is when I left.I felt like crying But stopped them from spilling I got ready in a red kurti and jeans I also put a small bindi on my forehead and combed my hair.I checked the length of my hair it's growth is slow...last time he got me a bobcut...well leaving all this I started going to the hall thinking I will surprise him not knowing soon I was going to get the biggest surprise of my life.
I was moving towards the stairs when I heard few hissing sounds.I heard them from upstairs I saw a girl and boy kissing so I lowered my gaze I thought I will surpass without looking at them.But my eyes froze when the girl lifted up her head to kiss the boy on his neck and his face was visible...for a second I thought my eyes are seeing him everywhere so for assurance I even closed my eyes to open it and only see that it's hallucination but it turned out to be a nightmare...my world shattered there...the cake that I baked for him dropped on the ground.."Ranaa"...he was trying to resist her but his force was not strong enough to push her away.... such a strong man who fights so much is not able to push this girl...I chuckled I wanted to shout at him then and there but stopped myself as I was not even in the state to speak something....I ran from there as fast as I could...my legs wobbled...I wasn't in my conscious state I unconsciously came back to his room only and just threw myself on bed...my tears weren't even stopping but this time those tears weren't normal it was different I felt coldness in my body...my cheeks were heated up red due to crying but they felt cold...coldness spread to mt palm,feet,stomach...My body was shivering 🥶 I wasn't able to digest the fact that I saw him with another girl...Today I was expecting anything but not this...I gave my virginity to him...I showered him with all my love...I gave him all I had...I kept him above everyone...but this is the result that I got in return....my eyes slowly closed and I slept I didn't know how time passed but unlike other days to I woke up in the morning on my own at the right time.He didn't return all night...ofcourse how will he..must be busy in spending night with that girl.
Today is Monday,a new day a new start,first day of the week and today onwards I am not going to follow him...the first thing I did was shifted all my belongings in bits and pieces to my room.I left for my classes and thought to sit with my old friends whom I ditched because of him...I have hurt them a lot now I shouldn't go to them just because I don't have anyone to talk right now.I was quietly sitting in my class but wasn't able to concentrate.All the things were roaming in my head how he said that he cared so much for me and he even did..it wasn't just words it was his actions that made him beleivable and trustable...and lovable?I fell in love with him? yes...how can I fall in love for him...I just want someone to come and tell me it's untrue I need explanations I need the answers to my questions he can't leave me like this in the midst of everything and just walk off like nothing happened.
.
It was the last period which was free.Some group of students came and sat with me.I was surprised to see them they asked me to play with them I denied not wanting to indulge in their stupid games I already crucified myself in his dirty mind games.
Later again Ditya came along with Harshita and asked me what happened I was so vulnerable at that time that I told them what happened firstly they were shocked to know that I and Ranvijay were in a relationship.I omitted telling that we practically lives together,I told them that he cheated on me.They tried to lift up my mood and forcefully took me to play with them so I thought why not let's play already he has played so much now this stupid truth and dare game won't do me any harm.
The game started.It was my turn I chose dare.
Ditya(smirked a little)-Your dare is you have to shout in the morning assembly that RANVIJAY is a cheater.
Harshita-What?!No Ditya principal will punish her and moreover no one should dare to stand against Ranvijay.
"I am not scared of him.He is not God that we are so scared of him."
I was determined that I will do it and he can't run from my questions.
And in the morning I did it.
Ranvijay's POV:-
You know I just love how feisty she is...I can't help but chuckle at her the way she thinks now she can control her life.She thinks if I am not present around her then I am not keeping an eye on her I know everything about her what she does where she goes to whom she meets everything...she is all time under my surveillance.
Everything was alright until she met that bastard...I was busy in my practice that's why I didn't check her phone...yes I have access to her phone I know what she is watching on her phone or whom she is talking or to whom she is chatting with.I know it all.
How in the fucking hell did she have the courage to meet and celebrate that bastards birthday with him and that worst thing is she contacted him first.I will teach you a good lesson jaan...that bastard is not a good guy not for my bratty li'l (little) girl.
It wasn't pre planned that I will kiss that girl on stairs when Sanjana comes but why to miss the opportunity.I intentionally didn't go to meet her after coming back.
That girl was trying to seduce me in the party so why to let her down when a girl wants to act like a whore I don't mind treating them like one.And it's in my best interest afterall I have to teach my special one a good lesson that she remembers for long...a fear should creep in her mind that if she goes against me she will lose me.I know how she is...it's not difficult for me to manipulate her and keep her under me.
And that's what I did she saw me kissing that girl the cake she baked for me dropped on the floor and she ran from there.
I felt bad because she baked that cake for me I pushed that bitch away.I went near the stairs and picked up the cake I licked the upper side of the cake that didn't touched the floor.
It was the tastiest cake I had ever eaten.
After that you know what happened.
She fell into my trap.
................................
An year passed......
She reached her tenth standard finally.
Ranvijay became a completely different person from what he was before he was caring, overprotective, overpossessive, extremely dominant,highly manipulative...and she became extremely timid and submissive,his puppet,isolated from the world and was described as his possession by the ones who knew about their relationship.
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.
.
Present time -
Ranvijay's phone ringed.
It was Gunjan's call.
"Sanjana....Gunjan is calling"
Sanjana became happy he picked up the call for her and put it on speaker.It was call on funstagram.
"Hiiii Gunjan"
"Hieeee...Sanjana how are you?"
"I am good and happy"
"I can feel it in your voice"
Sanjana giggled.
"Yes because Rana was tickling me from past fifteen minutes"
"Oooo....Sanjana I want to inform you something "
"What?!"
"I got married"
Gunjana dropped the bomb.
"Really?When?"
"Three days before and I tried contacting you I couldn't reach out to you.It was a simple marriage we did in a temple and got our marriage registered "
"Wowww....though I am angry at you but more than that I am happy for you...who's the lucky guy?"
"He is a major in army."
"Woah...is it a love marriage or arrange where did you meet...were you dating him without my knowledge....you didn't even tell or your parents fixed it for you and if they did why did you guys married in a hush hush and if it was love were aunty uncle against it as far as I k ow they are very open minded may be"
"Hold on for a minutes Miss Shatabdi express...will you let me speak?"
"Ooo ya say"
"I met him two years before during Navratri.His parents live in the same society as mine so we catched up there.We were not even friends till then I liked his personality instantly.He went back and we were not in contact.He came back again last year for two months and we spent time together just like casual friends...in these two months we grew close and he went back again.I started missing him...one day he called me I picked up his call after that day he used to call me daily and I don't know when but that liking changed into something else and this time when he came back home he came with a ring....I couldn't stop myself from saying yes...He was going to stay for a month but just after two weeks he got an emergency call and he had to leave within two days...I don't know when he will come back and I did not wanted to stop him I didn't know when will we get married so I asked him to marry me and he did.We took our parents blessings.He left yesterday...I wanted you to be there for our marriage...but no problem when we will get married next time with all pomp and show I hope you are there at that time."
"I am sorry Gunjan...I wasn't there and I really want to come you"
Ranvijay stopped her from telling where they are.He kept an stoic face.
"It's okay you don't need to feel bad about it"
"Acha tell me What you doing right now mrs.?"
"Goyal...his name is Gaurav Goyal"
"Did you matched your name before marrying...Gaurav Goyal Gunjan Goyal amazing "
"Sanjana I want to tell you one more thing we are expecting"
"Whattttt?!Like a baby"
"Hmmm...I am pregnant...and I haven't told him this....he has gone for a really important mission may be he won't return for more than a year...and I didn't wanted to bombard him with this information while he was leaving and make him feel guilty that he isn't there to take care of me...he was already feeling guilty for not giving me enough time...(Sobbing)I am missing him and I don't know how to cope up alone with this pregnancy news...I haven't told anyone, you are the first person I have told this...before marriage I was always worried for him many a times, I had sleepless nights but this time when I am married to him....my worry for him has increased 100times more...now I am his wife I thought nothing has changed in our relationship after marriage except we have seeked legal and social validation but no I was wrong now he is my husband and I genuinely am so scared...he says nothing will happen to him but my heart is pounding so fastly...I got the call today from him in the morning and he told he won't be able to talk to me on call for a long time...I did not tell him about the pregnancy news even then but now I don't know I am scared for him...I really don't want anything to happen to him I can't sleep at night I am so worried for him...and I am happy that I am pregnant but I am scared that(she stopped in middle)....I don't want to lose him..."
She cried hysterically.
Sanjana was listening to her friend without interrupting her.She wanted Gunjan to let out all her emotions.
"Gunjan...you really love him so much"
"Yes yes I do...I really do...that man is a gem...he loves me so much and I love him more than he can ever imagine...he knows everything about my past...and he was so patient in handling me...he wasn't judgemental at all instead he never questioned me about my past...he always stood for me,if it's possible for him...his duty is too hectic at acts as a bridge between us...but listening to my voice he is able to tell how my day went and how I am feeling right now...he knows me more than me...before in a five years long relationship I never felt so loved as much as I felt loved in the few moments I have spent with him...I thought everyone is like Raghav but I was wrong everyone isn't like him I thought I will never be able to love again but with time I realised it was one sided love and from his side it wasn't love it was just control over me when I met Gaurav I found love and it started with him he started loving me and I gradually fell in love...I knew right at that moment Sanjana that this guy is the one I would like to settle...I was scared to open up myself to him but I couldn't stop myself from getting close to him.(Sobbing)"
"Please stop crying Gunjan...you haven't done anything wrong I know he deserves to know about this news but what you thought isn't even wrong...stop feeling guilty...this phase of your life is a new beginning embrace it...you need to be strong for your husband and for your baby"
"Hmm talking to you releases my stress"
"Are you feeling better now?"
"Yaaa...you tell me about yourself where are you holidaying"
"Ummm...."
"Alright alright!! Don't lie ... In these many years I have understood one thing you don't reveal locations....how's your holiday going on?"
"It's going amazing so far...we will come to meet you when we will return"
"Hmm okay bye enjoy your holidays "
Ranvijay- Gunjan wait
Gunjan-Hi sir sorry jiju
Ranvijay smiled a little at her words.
Ranvijay- Are you alone at your house?No one's staying with you?
Gunjan-Ya I am alone
Ranvijay- Okay I am sending few female helpers they will take care of you until your husband comes back..
Gunjan -No it's fine you don't.
Ranvijay cuts off her in between.
Ranvijay- Gunjan I am sending them for your baby and not for you...and also double congratulations
Gunjana- Thankyou...thankyou for always helping me out whenever I needed someone for support...you both have always been there.
Sanjana-Gunjan I will throw my slippers at you from here it will directly land on your face of you will say thankyou to us.You are my sister and he also regards you as your sister so stop saying thankyou to us.
They ended the call after sharing the greetings.
Sanjana looked at her husband.
Sanjana- It will be better if Raghav does not knows about her marriage until she gives birth.
Ranvijay- I don't talk to him.I don't even know where he is.
Sanjana cupped his face lovingly.
Sanjana- I know you know everything about his whereabouts.He is your best friend Rana.Whatever he did with Gunjan was wrong and I cannot be less happy the way you supported her and stood against your friend.You know I love you for that.
She genuinely hugged him.
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Flashback starts-
When you tie blindfold on your eyes on your own and sit in an isolated room which is dark without any source of light....even after removing the blindfold you remain in darkness.
"Sanjana....I am going out you sleep I will return in the morning "
"Okay...do you have much work today?"
"Yes now sleep c'mon it's bed time"
She held his hand.
"Please don't go I won't be able to sleep properly "
Ranvijay was already frustrated with the work and now her childish demands infuriated him more.
"Sanjana either sleep on your own or keep sitting like an owl....I don't care...can't you see I am busy everyday you see I come back tired still your demands don't end"
He scolded her.
By now the waterfall started from her eyes.
"SANJANA SLEEP"
He shouted at her she flinched a little at his tone but closed her eyes in fear.She opened her eyes a little and found him still standing in front of her so she closed her eyes again.She slept within 20minutes in his presence.
He moved out and left in his car.
His bodyguards were standing in a queue.He regarded them as his brothers.They were ready to sacrifice their lives for him so how can he not regard them as his family.
Today he was going to meet someone really influential Salman Sheikh Rahmani the business tycoon cum rebel cum family enemy.
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